So... 

Hi! I'm Aimee. I'm 33 and here's a little background on my weightloss history to date. 

I've always had issues with my weight since the age of 11. I was always heavier than the other girls my age. It never bothered me until it was pointed out by kids at school. 

I come from a family of 5. I'm the oldest of 3 children. We were taught at a young age to finish the food on our plates. I remember a time when my brothers wouldn't finish all their food and I was forced to eat the remaining food. I think that's where my binge eating started. 

My mom used to make cookies a lot when I was in high school. I was told I couldn't have any when I'd ask. I think this was her way of trying to help me not get heavier, but because I loved food, I would sneak a cookie here and there. I'd sneak candy if I could find any.... I even stole it from my brother's Halloween stash. I never noticed an issue until I was in my final year of high school. I had a class called "body shop" where we would do cardio and weight training. Did I mention I also rode my bike to school almost every day? And when the weather was too bad, I'd walk the nearly 4 km there and back. I still weighed 180 lbs. I didn't realize even though I was physically active, it was all the junk I'd binge on after school that was harming me. Not to mention I was working at Burger King and we'd get 75% off our meals when we were working, so that made up about a third of the food I was eating too.

It got worse when I moved out on my own. I wasn't much of a cook. I started eating a lot of fast food. I estimate I gained 50 lbs in 1 year because of this. This was in 2002.

Fast forward to 2012 and I was at an estimated 300 lbs. I started seeing a new doctor and he referred me to Dr. Poon. For those who don't know, he is a weight loss doctor who specializes in placing obese, diabetic, PCOS and those with fatty liver disease on low carb diets. It worked. I lost 90 lbs. But then due to personal issues, I stopped the diet. One thing I should mention about this doctor is, he said this wasn't a diet. This was a lifestyle change. I don't know how eating 20 grams of carbs a day on phase 1 or maybe 40 grams on phase 2 was healthy. In my Google searching I found an article written by Miranda Malisani, RNCP about the diet. You can find her blog here: http://livelightnutrition.blogspot.ca/2011/12/my-experience-coaching-dr-poon-dieters.html

In her post she states "A weight-loss diet does not equal a healthy diet:" and "Eating less does not equate to losing more". I was brainwashed into believing this diet was the be all end all of diets because it worked for me. I did plateau, several times, but it worked. And I know there will be haters who will tell me "DON'T CALL IT A DIET!!! IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHANGE!". No. Anything that causes you to lose weight rapidly (more than 1-2 lbs per week) and is not sustainable is a diet.
No one told me I should probably try seeing a psychiatrist during the weight loss because I might develop body dysmorphia. For those who don't know it is defined as "a distinct mental disorder in which a person has symptoms of a medical illness, but the symptoms cannot be fully explained by an actual physical disorder. People with BDD are preoccupied with an imagined physical defect or a minor defect that others often cannot see. As a result, people with this disorder see themselves as "ugly" and often avoid social exposure to others or turn to plastic surgery to try to improve their appearance". 

When I saw myself after losing so much weight, I still saw myself as being fat. I did not love the person in the mirror and I would constantly criticize myself for not being able to lose weight faster. I started cutting back on my food significantly. You eat very low calories on this diet to begin with. I was cutting that down by half. I wanted to lose faster. My hair started to fall out. I was scared.

So needless to say, I went back to my old ways of eating and I watched the weight creep back over time. During this time I realized and learned a lot of things about myself and what's important in successful weight loss. I learned to love myself as a person, but I still hated my body. Somehow through all the drama, I ended up falling in love and getting married to a man who loves me more than anything and never saw a problem with my weight.

Most recently I had discovered on Instagram, a hashtag that would forever change my perspective on myself... Pizzasisters4lyfe. At first, I just thought it was a bunch of plus sized women trying to be proud of being fat. I learned that this was hardly the case. It is a community of individuals who practice body positivity. What is that? Well simply put, it's learning to be positive about your own body as well as others. Don't put yourself down because you're overweight. The journey to being healthy starts with accepting yourself for who you are and not hating how you look. This unfortunately has attracted a lot of hate as there are fitspo (fitness inspiration) people who see this as glorifying obesity. I honestly don't see it as this as it has helped me to learn that I am a work in progress. 

Which brings me to today. 

My family has a history of high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease. I remember being told by my doctor when I was at 300 lbs that my blood pressure was borderline. Well... I had reached a weight that my scale couldn't even measure. It would give me an error. I learned later that it maxes out at 335 lbs. I could hear my blood pulsing in my ears all the time. A quick Google search told me, that was a sign of high blood pressure. 

I was scared.

I started cutting out pop and just drinking water. Then I started trying to eat more fruits and vegetables. I cut out junk food. I tried eating whole foods (non processed) and I started to lose weight. Finally, I started walking for exercise.

To date I have lost 20 lbs. I was told by a few women that I inspire them (I've also inspired my hubby to eat better) which made me decide to start this blog. 

Here I will track my weight loss progress, as well share my struggles and also healthy recipes. I hope that this will help anyone who has had issues losing weight, or for anyone wanting to start somewhere so they can see, it's not easy, but it's also not impossible. 

Aimee